You know those days where you feel like you've done a thousand things... but can't quite list what they were?



I recently found myself staring at the kitchen sink, toothbrush still in hand, completely zoning out. I had meant to start the dishes but instead stood there, stuck between remembering to order more pull-ups, mentally meal-prepping with what we had in the fridge, and wondering if I had responded to that text from a friend—or if I had just imagined responding while I was wiping peanut butter off the dog.

That’s the mental load. The invisible checklist we carry around as mothers. And let me tell you, it’s heavy.

We’re the rememberers of all the things. The appointment schedulers, emotional regulators, supply restockers, birthday gift buyers, boo-boo kissers, and bedtime routine managers. We hold it all—most of it silently—while still trying to show up in the world like we’re fine.

And that’s where the burnout starts to creep in.

The Mental Load Is Real—and It’s Exhausting

The mental load isn’t just about what we do—it’s about everything we have to think about doing. It’s the endless tabs open in our brains, the quiet swirl of planning, worrying, remembering, and anticipating. And it doesn’t clock out at bedtime.

For a long time, I thought it was just me. That maybe I just needed to be better organized or get up earlier. But what I needed wasn’t a prettier planner—it was a new way of holding my role as a mother. A more compassionate one.

You’re Not Lazy—You’re Carrying Too Much

If you've ever sat down at the end of the day and wondered why you’re so tired when you “didn’t get much done,” I want to tell you something:

You are doing so much—even when it’s not visible. Even when it’s not praised. Even when you forget one of the many, many things on your list.

You are allowed to feel overwhelmed, and you are worthy of rest.

Let that sink in.

Simple Ways to Lighten the Load

Here are a few shifts I’ve been practicing to keep the mental clutter from stealing all my energy:

1. Write It Down (But Keep It Light)

Instead of keeping your whole brain in your brain, do a quick 5-minute brain dump when you start to feel overwhelmed. Not a full-blown to-do list. Just jot down the swirling stuff—like “text back the pediatrician” or “move the laundry.” Give it a place to land so you can free up space mentally.

2. Use Anchor Points

Pick a few reliable daily routines (like morning coffee, lunchtime, or bath time) to check in with yourself. Ask: What do I actually need today? Not just what needs to get done. What do I need?

3. Let the Ball Drop (On Purpose)

Some things can wait. Some don’t even need to be done at all. Letting a few balls drop intentionally can be the very thing that helps you catch the ones that really matter.

4. Ask for Help Without Apology

Whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a reminder on your phone to delegate, allow yourself to not do it all. You weren’t meant to carry the invisible load alone.

You Are Not a Machine

You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re not ungrateful.

You are a mother with a full mind and an even fuller heart. The more we name the mental load, the more power we take back. Because awareness is the first step to change.

So the next time you find yourself stuck in the kitchen with a toothbrush in your hand and a million tabs open in your mind, remember this:

You’re doing beautifully. And it’s okay to set some of it down.

Mini Prompt:

What’s one thing you can take off your mental plate this week—either by writing it down, letting it go, or asking for help?