If you know anything about me, it's that I'd be the first to say yes to anything to make people happy, even if that meant sacrificing my own peace. I think everyone has that moment in their lives when everything just clicks. They make up their minds to change, and it happens. The stars align, and their cosmic trajectory takes a sharp turn toward something greater or the universe forces them in that direction.

For me, it was during my pregnancy. I had heard stories about all the crazy things pregnant women do and say, and I was sure I was going to become one of them. Interestingly, my tolerance for people disrespecting my time—and as a result, me—dwindled down to almost nothing. After all, I was scheduling precious moments of my life to do something for or with them, but they couldn't be bothered to show up or be on time without so much as a "Hey, I'm sorry I'm going to be late." You know what that translates to in my mind? "I don't respect you enough to value your time and energy."

At the time, my husband was getting into reading books on stoicism. One of his book covers had a title that caught my eye: "Hell Yeah or No." While the book itself was a bit of a stretch for me, the title became a mantra I could get behind. I hadn't really decided to go for it; it was just something I kept in the back of my mind. Then one day, my husband said to me, "You know, now that you've taken on this perspective of not caring what other people think, you're untouchable." I paused for a moment, shocked to hear it. I was a little taken off guard. I didn't think I was making noticeable changes, although I could certainly feel them. I had more time for myself, I was less stressed, and I spent less time ruminating about the what-ifs. What if I hurt their feelings? What if this interrupts their plans? What if they don’t like my idea? I had never felt untouchable in my entire life. I felt like Superwoman. Who would have thought that a new attitude from a book cover on my coffee table was whispering the key to unlocking everything holding me back and keeping me tied down? I could make decisions about the people and things in my life without getting caught up in the emotion of it all. It was addicting, and I loved it.

From then on, it was like a snowball. If it didn't feel like a "Hell yeah," then it was a no. No questions asked, black and white. Decision fatigue and turbulent, smothered feelings? No more! Where was this all my life?! And on the snowball rolled, and so did everything else. I felt like I had autonomy over the things in my life without the guilt and the worry. Relationships became simpler. I could confidently block off time for myself on my calendar and stick to it without consulting everyone else first. I even walked away from my brick-and-mortar yoga studio and never looked back.

An unexpected bonus was that this change also helps you decipher if your relationships are built on depth or convenience—helping you sort out the people who naturally want to see you happy and succeeding (those are your heart nurturers; they cheer you on just by being themselves), and the relationships worth holding on to or letting go of.

The essence of a heart-led life is to lead with it. And while I suspect a portion of this had something to do with those pregnancy hormones, I learned a great deal from that newfound confidence and stuck with it. It is about deciding to take a step toward the life you want to craft for yourself. No matter how small the step, every one counts.

The heart knows what it wants. Sometimes we need to make the mind and body aware of those needs by laying some ground rules. Create a boundary, implement it, observe the outcome, and decide if it's worth repeating. You'll know when you're moving in the right direction; you'll feel it. It sounds simple, and it is, but it takes some effort to stay consistent. And trust me, those little changes will create an avalanche. But you don’t have to fret; that avalanche is the evolution of you. It’s the you that’s always been there. We just needed to shake off the snow that was weighing you down.