You expected motherhood to change you. But maybe not like this.

You knew you'd be tired. That your body would need time to heal. That your routines, your priorities, your sleep—your everything—would shift.

But no one really warned you that you might not feel like yourself anymore.
That you'd look in the mirror and wonder, quietly,
Where did she go?

If that sounds familiar, there’s a name for what you’re moving through: matrescence.
And just having a word for it can be the start of something healing.

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence is the emotional, physical, hormonal, psychological, and spiritual transformation a woman undergoes as she becomes a mother.

Much like adolescence, it’s a full-bodied identity shift. And just like adolescence, it can be disorienting, vulnerable, and at times, messy.

But unlike adolescence, matrescence often happens without a rite of passage.
No finish line. No celebration. No moment where someone hands you a certificate and says,

Congratulations—you’ve become someone new.

The Missing Milestone

In other life transitions, there’s usually something that marks the moment:

• A graduation
• A wedding
• A promotion
• A birthday
• An anniversary
• A party, a speech, or even a little card saying “You did it.”

But in motherhood?
You're handed a baby and expected to just become.
No guide. No ceremony. Just the weight of new responsibility, handed to you along with your new title.

So when you feel unsure, unsteady, or like you’ve lost a part of yourself, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because you’re undergoing a transformation that hasn’t been formally acknowledged—but is very, very real.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming

That feeling of being tender one moment and irritable the next?
The quiet ache for who you were… paired with fierce devotion to who you’re becoming?
That’s not failure. That’s growth.

Matrescence is why:

• You crave quiet but can’t seem to find it
• You miss your old routines but wouldn’t trade your child for anything
• You feel both joy and grief in the same breath
• You question whether you’re doing enough, being enough, feeling enough

This is what it looks like when a woman is stretched between two versions of herself— the one who was, and the one who is still forming.

You’re Allowed to Honor This Season

Naming matrescence won’t fix the hard parts, but it gives you a gentle place to begin. A way to say,
This is a transition. This is valid. This is mine.

You’re not the only one who feels like she’s unraveling some days.
You’re not behind.
You’re not too sensitive.

You’re evolving.
You’re shedding what no longer fits.
You’re learning how to hold both your child and your own unfolding.



A Quiet Invitation

What if you stopped trying to bounce back to a version of yourself that no longer fits?
What if you stopped apologizing for the way you've changed?

What if, instead, you honored your matrescence—
Not with a party or a polished post,
But with a slow breath and the quiet acknowledgment:

I’m still becoming. And that’s allowed.

Mini Prompt:
What would your own rite of passage look like in this season? A journal entry? A letter to yourself? A quiet moment of gratitude for how far you’ve come?